Saturday, 31 March 2012

Who lives where on Coronation Street

(This post was originally posted by Chewy on the Coronation Street Blog in December 2011.)

Over on my blog I have made a few pictures detailing the layout of Coronation Street, and where everybody lives. I put them together to illustrate to some Corrie fans where everybody lives, as they weren't quite sure of the layout of the street, or the location of Victoria Street.

Earlier this year I had a go at mapping out Weatherfield using the 'Wider Weatherfield' shots from the 50th anniversary week. Take a look here and see if you can work out where's where in Weatherfield!

Click to enlarge.
Click to enlarge.

Click to enlarge (again!).
and once more, click to enlarge!

What did the Rovers look like in 1964

(This post was originally posted by Chewy on the Coronation Street Blog in December 2011.)

KornerKabin of the Digital Spy soap forums brought up an interesting video of a 1964 episode in which there is an exterior shot of the Rovers Return, the only problem being, it looks nothing like the Rovers we know today!

Although in the 1960's end credits the Rovers looked different from this version too, and not only that, the Mission Hall was right next door to it, and even the street looked different back then, as each house had it's own bay window, instead of the joined ones that started to appear as the 1960's went on.

Corrie advent calendar, December 23 and 24

Christmas day in Corrie Canadaland began yesterday but as the hour long episode doesn't finish airing until Monday night, we'll draw this over the weekend and still be finished before the day is done!
Welcome to the 23rd day for our Coronation Street Blog advent calendar. What’s behind today’s door?
Merry Christmas from everyone in the Rovers in 1998. (click on the picture for a larger version)

Welcome to the 24th day for our Coronation Street Blog advent calendar. What’s behind today’s door?
It’s Christmas Eve! Season’s Greetings from Jack and Vera. (click on the picture for a larger version)
(With thanks to ITV Granada Picture Archive)

Friday, 30 March 2012

Fab Photo Friday

(This post was originally posted by Sunny Jim on the Coronation Street Blog in January 2012.)

It's Friday again so it's time for this week's fab Coronation Street photo. I know we featured Blanche last week but I think she'd have had a lot to say about the goings on with her granddaughter this week. She may even have resorted to violence again.

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Corriecraft: Building the Street in Minecraft

(This post was originally posted by Chewy on the Coronation Street Blog in December 2011.)

Minecraft is a PC game released by a studio called Mojang, and unlike most modern games you only pay for it once. The game is constantly updated with new features on a regular basis.

Being a fan of both Corrie and Minecraft, I have decided to under take a massive project, to build Coronation Street, then Weatherfield in the game. The way the game works is that you 'mine' blocks which then can be placed onto buildings.

So far I have only managed to build the Rovers exterior in the game, though I will soon move onto the rest of the terraced row, before moving onto the newer side of the Street. In the past I once built Coronation Street in The Sims 2 on my old 'in-world' 'Weatherfield Recorder' blog.

Are there any other Corrie gamers out there who have created Corrie stuff in their games? If so, send it to us and I will be sure to give it a blog!

How Weatherfield currently looks!

Corrie advent calendar, December 21 and 22

Welcome to the 21st day for our Coronation Street Blog advent calendar. What’s behind today’s door?
Christmas dinner at the Rovers so often involves a strange collection of people who might not normally get together. (click on the picture for a larger version)

Welcome to the 22nd day for our Coronation Street Blog advent calendar. What’s behind today’s door?
It was a white Christmas for Coronation Street in 2004. (click on the picture for a larger version)

(With thanks to ITV Granada Picture Archive)

Sneak Preview of next week's Canadian Corrie, April 2 - 6

Here's a sneak preview of what's coming up on Canadian Corrie screens next week!

Becky hits bottom and it's Nick to the rescue. She then takes matters into her own hands, determined to prove she's innocent. Tracy squirms as her lies come under scrutiny. Karl and Stella bet on their future.

Eva gets the wrong end of the stuck. One couple reunites. Another can't stay away from each other and yet another pair become a couple but is it a smart move on her part? A challenge is issued after a wanderer returns. Dev learns a hard truth. A familiar face returns to the Street. Tina and Kirsty's feud continues and Rita gets caught in the crossfire.

Sophie and Sian's wedding approaches. The hen night could have gone better. Doubts are raised. Will the wedding go through?

Frank is worried about the trial so his mother tries to take matters into her own hands. Will it backfire? Can Carla keep her temper from getting her in trouble? Peter and Carla continue to sneak around. Stella has her suspicions.

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Thursday, 29 March 2012

In defence of Peter and Carla

(This post was originally posted by me on the Coronation Street Blog in December 2011.)

There were quite a few negative comments about Peter and Carla on the Weekly Awards posting when I originally posted them for this week's Corrie over on the Coronation Street Blog in December. I'm sure there will be more to come over the next few weeks as we see this all unfold.

While I prefer Leanne and Peter, I really don't think this affair is as ill-conceived or cringeworthy as some people think. It's only my opinion of course, and you're all entitled to yours, but here's my take on it.

And for those of you that think it's even worse than the infamous Molvin pairing? You have short memories! ;)

Kate Ford on Tracy's latest schemes

(This post was originally posted by me on the Coronation Street Blog in December 2011.)

Digital Spy has a great two part interview this week with Kate Ford who tells all about her alter ego's scheming in her efforts to keep her claws into Steve McDonald.

We know that Tracy miscarried this week and then took the opportunity to blame Becky because she thinks Steve and Becky are finding their way back together.

Tracy blackmailed her mother into keeping her secret while she finds herself dug in deep to the point where she can't back out anyway, because the lie would drive Steve away.

Kate says that Tracy put the blame on Becky after fainting  at Becky's flat and falling down the stairs. It was an impulse to blame Becky with opportunity knocking. Tracy was genuinly upset at losing the babies but as Kate says, "what she does would stop anyone from feeling sorry for her". Indeed! Kate defends Tracy's bitchy personality by saying that Tracy "is true to herself and doesn't let herself get walked all over. It's just not necessarily a good thing taken to the degree that Tracy takes it!"

Kate confirms that she's going to be around Coronation Street for some time to come.

Part one of the interview on Digital Spy is here and there's a bit more here.

Corrie advent calendar, December 19 and 20

Welcome to the 19th day for our Coronation Street Blog advent calendar. What’s behind today’s door?
Why not annoy the neighbours with some tacky Christmas lights. (click on the picture for a larger version)

Welcome to the 20th day for our Coronation Street Blog advent calendar. What’s behind today’s door?
Awwww. Who can face turkey for dinner now, looks like we’re having nut roast instead. (click on the picture for a larger version)

Has Weatherfield changed much since the tram crash?

It was one of the doom-laden phrases being flung around this time last year. After the tram crash had brought carnage to the cobbles, life would never be the same again. With this is mind, we all sat glued to the trauma of Tram Week and the aftermath. What has been the lasting impact though, if any?
Almost twelve months on and the most palpable sign that all is not right comes in the form of the simmering tension between Kevin and Tyrone. The latter has passed through a range of emotions in the past year - shock, hurt, anger and maybe even a little guilt. What we have been left with though is, arguably, a much improved Tyrone. He's free of a mundane marriage and a feckless wife. There's an element of fun in his life thanks to a sassy new girlfriend and the inanity of housemate Tommy Duckworth.

 Sally Webster gained some sympathy in the immediate aftershock of last December's revelations. As usual though, she lumbers from one disaster to another whether it be hooking up with a boyfriend who looks like a Punch & Judy puppet or deciding that working with a rapist is a positive career move. Thankfully though, the storyliners seem to have resisted the obvious path of teaming her up with dreary old Kev again.

Personally, I don't think the characters who left are particularly missed. Charlotte Hoyle was only ever a demented pantomime character and so, no love lost there. Poor old Molly's character had been ripped apart by less than believable (or sympathetic) storylines so her story was over anyway. This is probably true of Ashley Peacock but more so of the dreadful Claire, another who suffered at the hands of bizarre plot twists. Even her exit was based on some ridiculous criminal act. Off to France she went, a fugitive, yet still managed to sell her house to Lloyd. Someone should tell Interpol.

We were promised new characters and in fine soap style, some have worked (Brian Packham, Kirsty Policewoman), some are so-so (Stella Cindy from EastEnders, Tommy Duckworth) and some who really don't seem to have gelled at all (the robotic doctor, anyone with the surname Gray). Is Weatherfield a much-changed place since this time in 2010?

Wednesday, 28 March 2012

Is Kirsty a bunny boiler in the making? (with spoiler)

(This post was originally posted by me on the Coronation Street Blog in December 2011.)

I'm starting to mistrust Kirsty, Tyrone's new lady. At first, she seemed nice, sparky, and someone that could put a light in Tyrone's sad puppy dog eyes. He deserved some happiness after his annus horribilis. Enter tall, dark and gorgeous Kirsty Soames.

Tommy paid her to chat up Tyrone in a bar, to shore up his confidence and she went along with it for a laugh. Turned out she quite liked him and they've been together ever since. Unfortunately, Tina, one of Ty's lodgers, rubbed up the wrong way and they've been feuding ever since. On the surface, it seems like Tina's being unreasonable but more and more I'm getting suspicious.

Maybe, just maybe, Tina's right and Kirsty is causing a lot of the tension between the two, trying to drive Tina out of the house. Tina certainly doesn't help matters, running around the house in a towel and she's doing it on purpose now to wind up Kirsty, that much is true, but it also seems like Kirsty's getting her revenge by using her position as a police officer.

When I saw Kirsty's reaction the other day to Tina giving Tyrone a friendly hug and how she really provoked Tina with her jealousy, I starting to think that maybe Tina is right about her. Have you noticed that smug smile she always has when she's had one up on Tina? Have you noticed how impossibly big her hair is? It certainly resembles that of the original Fatal Attraction stalker that Glenn Close played and that's a clue in and of itself, right?


I wouldn't put it past Kirsty to lie to Tyrone in order to keep her talons into him. There's going to be a car crash where Kirsty's police car rams the back of Tyrone's with Tina on board. Kirsty's apparently chasing them after a row. Then she's apparently going to tell Tyrone she's pregnant. The timing seems all too perfect to me.


I think the car crash maybe could have been prevented. Police are trained in how to drive and avoid accidents. I'm betting she might do it "accidentally on purpose" and I have a sneaking feeling she won't really be pregnant. That's her last ditch effort to keep Tyrone under her thumb and no matter how much Tina protests, nobody will believe her except, perhaps, Tommy. Tyrone will turn against them both but in the end, it will be proven that Tina was right all along.

Corrie advent calendar, December 17 and 18

Welcome to the 17th day for our Coronation Street Blog advent calendar. What’s behind today’s door?

Probably the best ever Christmas episode. Who didn’t have a tear in their eye as Hilda warbled her way through ‘Wish Me Luck As You Wave Me Goodbye’? (click on the picture for a larger version)

Welcome to the 18th day for our Coronation Street Blog advent calendar. What’s behind today’s door?
This atmospheric picture of the Street comes from 1969. (click on the picture for a larger version)
(With thanks to ITV Granada Picture Archive)

Fat Brenda's Cream Horn

(This post was originally posted by Fat Brenda on the Coronation Street Blog in December 2011, reposted with permission.)

It’s been a funny week loveys, wherever I look I see Peter. He’s lighting up outside the Kabin, he’s lighting up outside the bookies, he’s lighting up every flamin’ where. He attacked Dev in the shop – understandable when you see the amount he charges for Pop Tarts – and he’s fallen off the flamin’ wagon!

Oh loveys, Leanne is beside herself. She’s been walking up and down the cobbles in that red coat of hers asking everyone if they’ve seen him… everyone that is except the one person she should be asking – Carla!

Peter has been taking taxis to Carla’s flat and hasn’t been ordering one home. He was there all night! Bernice saw him in the park with her an’ all but they pretended they didn’t know who she was! She was on her shop mobility scooter ready to do some of her “outdoor pursuits” (dogging) and there they were, bold as brass!

Ken was furious. Of all the hundreds of children he’s got dotted around the globe he reckons that Peter is the most trouble. In fact, Ken is one of the reasons that there has been such a population explosion in the past few years. He sits on top of a family tree that has more branches than flamin’ Nandos!

“But Brenda, he’s only got four kids and Tracy!”

That we know of, loveys. That we flamin’ know of!

What was I on about now..?
Oh aye, Peter!

After I found out he was back on the booze I looked through the wastepaper bin at the bookies in case he’d left any voddy in his bottle and I found his speech. Oh loveys, it’s a rum do. I’ve written it up for you to have a look at:

“It’s been a year since the tram crash changed things forever (well for a fortnight anyway). I survived and sometimes I wish I hadn’t. Ashley should be stood here now, not me. Ashley never hurt anyone – well, except all them animals he butchered.
Hang about… I need a drink…
What are you lot looking at?! Yeah I’m drunk! So what! I’m Peter Barlow and I’m an alcoholic! Happy now?!
Oh look, there’s me dad! Go on dad give me another lecture! Ken Barlow, the only man to take the moral high ground when he’s had more affairs than... than... my wife! My flamin’ wife; Leanne!
You see ladies and gentlemen, when I was lay dying in that hospital the only thing she was worried about was that her affair with Nick would be discovered. Me dad knew, didn’t you Ken? Everyone knew except me! Even Deirdre! They all kept it from me! The Barlows - we're like a barrel of bad apples, we contaminate everything we touch... who wants a fight? Dad? Let's have it out... me and you!
Hang about, I’m just gonna have a drink…
Emily flamin’ Bishop! “Oooh will you write a speech about the worst time of your life?”
Thanks for that Emily! THANKS A LOT! THIS IS YOUR FAULT!
I didn’t ask for any of this!
Hang about, I’m just gonna take another swig…
>I hate you all… except you Carla. You’re lovely you are. I flamin’ love you… and our Si, I love him an’ all… but you Carla… when I look at you I feel complete…
I’m gonna be sick, hang about…
Show me the way to go home… I’m tired and I want to go to bed…”

Well loveys, thank Cliff he didn't make it to the memorial service! It's word for word is that!

The other news this week is that Becky is me new boss! What the flamin' hell? Has she not inflicted enough damage on Streetcars with all the money we're short of after buying Max? Will she make Steve pay back the Max money I wonder? That would be a bit cruel even by her standards.

Me favourite cuddly scouser is going and I will miss him more than he will ever know - he always bought nice biscuits did Lloyd. He's mortified that he made a pass at Stella. If I had a ciggie for every time I made an unsuccessful pass at someone I'd have two duty free cartons by now!

I'm off down to Weatherfield police station now, I've been asked to come in and answer questions relating to me relationship with Tyrone cos Kirsty saw me talking to him yesterday - two words: bunny boiler!
Tweeter me here.

Tuesday, 27 March 2012

Be Glad Phyllis Pearce Was Unavailable

(This post was originally posted by Scott on the Coronation Street Blog in December 2011.)

Time to celebrate the festive season, Weatherfield style.  Here's the perfect song for your Christmas parties - a medley of pop classics performed by Ivy Tilsley, Jack Duckworth and Brian Tilsley.  And yes: that IS Sally Webster having a crack at Madonna.

Enjoy the madness, here.

Corrie advent calendar, December 15 and 16

Welcome to the 15th day for our Coronation Street Blog advent calendar. What’s behind today’s door?
Ah, Christmas, the season of goodwill to all men, except for Terry Duckworth. (click on the picture for a larger version)

Welcome to the 16th day for our Coronation Street Blog advent calendar. What’s behind today’s door?

It’s panto time again (oh no it isn’t). Who’s playing who in this picture? (click on the picture for a larger version)

(With thanks to ITV Granada Picture Archive)

The odds are Peter and Carla won't work out

Peter has realized that Carla is the one for him, this week anyway. But as we all know, Peter's not the most decisive of men and he wants to please everyone. He also knows he's not really the strongest of men and will bow down to the pressure of his responsibilities when he sees that sad little Simon-face. Leaving Leanne isn't going to be as straightforward as he thinks.

And I think even if he does manage it at some point, the odds of he and Carla going the distance are stacked pretty high against him. I just can't see them as a long term couple, raising Simon and any other children together as a happy family. I expect there will be a few twists and bumps in the road yet, though, and I've done a longer blog post about it over here.

I know Peter and Carla as a couple have their fans. I'm not one of them but since soaps thrive on triangles, I guess we're in for a bit of back and forth between Peter, his wife and the other woman. Good thing I do like all three characters, and actors, at least.

Monday, 26 March 2012

Merry Corrie-mas (minor spoiler)

(This post was originally posted by Clinkers (David)
on the Coronation Street Blog in December 2011.)

It's now as traditional as dry turkey and over-boiled sprouts - the seasonal glut of soap opera action. On Christmas Day at 8.00 p.m., ITV1 viewers will see one Corrie character fighting for her life and another attempting to keep a promise. The yuletide soap epics seem to be the mainstay of the schedules, yet a quick look through the history books would indicate otherwise.

Back in the 1970s and early 1980s, there was very little Corrie around at all. It tended to be ITV policy only to air the show if Christmas Day fell on a normal Corrie day. Even then, it wasn't always the case. Also, Granada tended to keep the festive storylines fairly light and managed to wait until 1987, the year of Hilda Ogden's departure, before really having a big story on the big day.

In fact, the Corrie Christmas storylines tended to be either low-key or a bit odd. Some of those you could have enjoyed include:

1961 - Ena chokes on a sixpence, by crikey she does Minnie Caldwell!
1962 - Emily and the tranquilisers. Well, it was the Swinging Sixties . . .
1969 - Ena & Emily duetting on "Cockles and Mussels" in the Rovers. Valerie Barlow's topless rendition of "We shall overcome" was never transmitted.
1976 - Vera attempts to strip Ernie Bishop
1982 - The community centre dance sees Elsie getting groped by someone older than her . . .
1985 - Alf sits on a plum pudding
1996 - Curly and Maureen. Together. In bed . . .

We should be thankful though that Corrie has never strayed down the Albert Square root and killed off a major character under a Christmas tree. For a full rundown (in more ways than one) of the Corrie Christmas episodes, take yourself off to and check the December 2010 blogs.

Corrie advent calendar, December 13, and 14

Welcome to the 13th day for our Coronation Street Blog advent calendar. What’s behind today’s door?
Merry Christmas from the cast of 1989. (click on the picture for a larger version)
(With thanks to ITV Granada Picture Archive)

Welcome to the 14th day for our Coronation Street Blog advent calendar. What’s behind today’s door?
It might be all smiles around the Christmas dinner table now but it won’t last. Not when your psychopathic son has got hold of his grandmother’s old diary! (click on the picture for a larger version)
(With thanks to ITV Granada Picture Archive)

Corrie Canada weekly awards: March 19 - 23

Get Smart award: Agents 86 and 99 in the warehouse recovering their wine!

Opportunity knocks award: Cash Star: Lloyd has no money and a wish to start anew. Becky has no money and wants to start anew. Coincidence? What are the odds...?
Power star: Sally thinks she's on the road to being a business maven! Power corrupts, Sal!

Frankly obsessed award: Gold Star: Sally is right in her element and Frank's put her there.

All grown up award: My hasn't David matured? Or not...
Oh Grow Up award: Owen kept the football and started up a feud with David! Nick needs his own place!

Keystone Cops award: Brass Star: When the guard dog starts to bark its head off, you don't just hush him and lead him out.

She's just not that into you award: Sophie is crushing on Amber, gets rejected so decides to elope with Sian.

Stroppy Mare award: That Faye is really getting on my wick. So is Tina.

Style fail: What does Rosie look like with them black eyebrows!?

Hopeless award: Where was Fiz and Hope at the ceremony, by the way? Eating Hope's birthday cake?

Stalker in Training award: I think Kirsty has a dangerously obsessive side to her. She's certainly quick to jealousy.

Miraculous Perception award: Kirk... how *did* he guess that bride-to-be didn't want to get married? And he got lucky!!

Flashback award: Shaky Star: Peter doesn't seem too happy to think about all he's got to be grateful for this past year. The more they talk about it, the worse he feels. (Excellent "Day in the life" episode as well!) which all leads to...the Off the Wagon Award.

Showdown at the OK Corral award: Underworld vs Fosterworld and the Silk Wars. We don't have your fabric. Oh no. But Sean's sporting a handkerchief made with it. Nyah!

Pants on Fire award: Sucker star. Karl is supposed to be working. He's at the casino. And he lost. And said he'd run out of petrol. (It doesn't take 6 hours to get an empty tank filled in the middle of the city)

Fashion Clash award: Sean's red lacy basque over a pink and white striped shirt. (I *hate* pink and red together!)

Lines of the Week:
Nick "We're liberating, not stealing." Eva "Tell it to the judge!" Nick "I wish that was funny!"
Sally to Sophie "For a born again Lesbian Christian, you haven't half got a one track mind"
Eva about Tina "She's a bit highly strung wasn't she?" (Pot? Kettle?)
Karl to Stella "Mother. Businesswoman. Friend to the needy. Where do you find the time!" (Now christened St. Ella!)
Michelle "What's the most useless thing you can think of?" *Kirk walks in*
Frank "Stalin was more forgiving than you, Mother"
Lloyd "Are you familiar with the concept of Chaos Theory?"
Peter "I'll get a taxi" Tommy "Do you want a number?" (um, Streetcars? Around the corner?)
Peter "I'm an alcoholic and all I can think about today is getting drunk"
Kylie "It just brings back stuff I'd rather forget" (like blackmail, you mean?)
Mary "People like to suck on something hard when they're standing in the cold"
Owen "I brought up two daughters" (bullied them up, more like)
Sunita "Whoever said a family that plays together stays together never met Dev"
Owen "You may mock" David "We will, we will"
Sally about Frank "He's pushed me into the limelight and wants me to shine. I'll tell you something else, Shine I Will!"
Tommy "Don't worry, Ty, people laugh at you all the time"

Sunday, 25 March 2012

Charlie Condou signs new Corrie contract to March 2013

(This post was originally posted by Flaming Nora on the Coronation Street Blog December 2011, reposted to this blog with permission.)

Charlie Condou, who plays the fab Marcus Dent on Coronation Street, has signed a new Coronation Street contract that will keep him on the cobbles until March 2013.  I think this is excellent news. Charlie is a great actor and Marcus a wonderful character.

In Charlie's weekly column in The Guardian, The Three of Us, he writes today: "This week I also made the biggest commitment of my professional life. I've signed for another year on Coronation Street, taking me right through to March 2013.

As an actor it's rare to have anything like job security, so knowing where I'm going to be working for the next 15 months is not something I've experienced before. It feels right, though. With the new baby coming it's great knowing that I have that bit of security. The only downside is that I'm based in Manchester a lot of the time, and it can be hard sometimes to be away from the family. It's a small price to pay though, and we've managed to make it work without problems so far."

Sunday Canadian Corrie Comments, March 25

Oh look, Carla has her driver's license back (remember she got done for drinking and driving this time last year). Michelle moves forward alone and has Julie for comfort at least. Mind you Julie would comfort just about anyone whether they needed it or not! Carla rewards Michelle's loyalty by making her office manager. If Sally were still employed there, she'd be in a major sulk. Underworld workers wouldn't give back the mis-directed order of silk pattern pieces and flaunted it in the pub with a stray pink hankie. Childish but effective. How could they even tell that one little piece of fabric was from their shipment and not legitimately belonging to Underworld?

The tram crash anniversary is rapidly approaching and Emily wants Peter to make a speech as the sole survivor of the victims. That sends him into a spiral of post traumatic flashbacks in spite of the fact that it's his wedding anniversary too but they don't get a very nice present. Seems Leanne's got troubles in utero and it's going to be difficult getting pregnant. She's upset, Peter doesn't seem to take it as seriously as she thinks he should, and with the service and a speech looming, Peter can't handle the pressure. Carla is right there to advise and commiserate.

It goes downhill from there when Peter discovers a mate of his from his support group has died and Carla mysteriously shows up at the support meeting. She's always drinking like a fish but she only seems to show up when the plot requires her to be thrown at Peter. (By the way, that half hour was a focused-on-Peter episode, the day in the life of an alcoholic. That's why it seemed like Peter was zipping from scene to scene to location to location) 

So he's trying to write his speech and listening to the tram rattle by. No wonder It's all too much for him. He starts drinking then and the next day when he can't face the memorial ceremony he buys another bottle, dives into it and crashes at Carla's rather than let Leanne see him drunk, at Carla's "helpful" insistence. Now he's decided he has to have Carla, because she, unlike the booze, won't kill him. He's substituting her for the booze, you realize that.  And I think Dev should have contacted Ken or Leanne right after Peter walked out with that bottle. He could tell Peter was in a state.

Oh, and since nobody else seemed to notice, I'll say it. Happy first birthday, Hope! And speaking of Fiz, Sally told her Frank might be hiring. Did she go for the job? doesn't look like it since we haven't seen her in Fosterworld. Maybe she doesn't want to work for A. Sally and B. a rapist. She must be eligible for some sort of single mother benefits as must Katy.

There's a lot of rude people on that street. During the service when the choir were singing, Rita was gabbing to Pam and Bill, Leanne was whispering to Ken. Mary was going on about mint imperials and Norris was grumbling. And for someone that hasn't prepared any sort of speech, Ken was word perfect. Owen and Anna didn't really bother with the ceremony right on their own front step. Kylie and David were messing around winding up Owen. 

For all Nick keeps saying he's over Leanne, he still considers that Peter "won" the prize. So maybe he's still wearing his heart on his sleeve a bit? Everyone else gets through the service and Ken steps in and makes a nice speech. Pam and Bill show up and Mary is as always, obnoxious.

Leanne has to be the one to ask Carla if the machinists can make the costumes for the school play that she and Sunita are helping with. Seems a bit of an imposition if you ask me but Carla does it anyway. Peter wanted a taxi from Lloyd, but then we saw him getting his car from Tyrone at the garage.

I don't know why Tyrone is so upset that Kevin wants Jack to have the Webster name. Tyrone doesn't want to see Jack, gave him to Kevin and knows he's Kevin's son. You would think it would hurt him a little bit less if Jack didn't have his name. I suppose it's one last piece of his former life "taken away" from him. Kirsty reckons she's the best one to help Tyrone over the anniversary of the day his life blew up (Molly was leaving him, Baby not his, Molly dies) but really, all he needs are his mates, not a formal counselling session. Again, this makes Kirsty feel like an outsider and she whines that nobody likes her. Well that part's true enough. 

Owen seems to be coming over all parenting with Faye now. You know that's not going to go over well with her. She already resents him taking Anna's attenion away from her. Now Faye has fallen through a rotting floorboard in the shed and Owen intends on taking it down. Um. Builder? Wouldn't it be easier just to replace the floor or even rebuild it from scrap wood? No, because then there wouldn't be a way of causing friction with the neighbours and instigating a silly feud between grown up Owen and barely out of nappies David though David did have a point about making sure the pond was safeguarded so Max wouldn't fall in, given that Max probably would climb the fence to want to play in it. The pond being filled with fish was a given once Owen mentioned in the pub that he used to own fish, much to my surprise.

It's Owen's new project, except it isn't even his house and property. Well ok, it is his property but if there's sitting tennants, should he realistically take over the garden like that? Should he be letting himself in willy nilly? Typical Owen charging in though. Owen already had said he'd put a grill over the pond for safety yet didn't mention that when David went ballistic over it all. And what is the point of having a nice pond with fish in it  if you're going to cover it over anyway?  Do you really need a tacky plastic heron keeping watch? Why would he need it if there is a grill over the pond to protect the fish.  I can't blame David for taking the mick but this feud is going to get old really fast.

Becky has a load of cash, Lloyd's depressed and wants to wash his hands of Weatherfield and now he's got a tax audit on his hands. He needs that like a hole in the head though the auditor was pretty amusing. But does an "on the spot audit" actually give you a week to sort out your paperwork? That auditor was great! A bit of a mother fixation but funny as heck. 

Cue St.Ella to the rescue. She's the saviour, Mother Hen and Agony Aunt to all who sail in the Rovers Return these days. They get to know each other better over the course of her helping him and him helping her and next thing you know it, poor old Lloyd decides she's not just offering him a shoulder to cry on and tries to kiss her in a clumsy drunken kind of way. It should have ended there but she's walking around like it's a big secret. Overreact much? Meanwhile Karl is blissfully ignorant and on a gambling high. or low, depending on how you look at it.

Meanwhile Max is living with Kylie and that hurts Becky's tender heart too. Kylie rightly wants Max to settle and it's not going to be easy with his beloved Auntie Becky around. Max is only back less than 5 minutes before he's gone missing leaving Max and Kylie frantic. David only popped inside to put something in the oven but we all remember Max's tendency to run off don't we? Kylie immediately thought Becky took him but he'd gone looking for Becky.

Max is sitting quietly in the back room of the pub. Since someone would have noticed him coming throught he front, he must have slipped in through the back door or smoking door entrance. This again brings Kylie to the realization that little Max really has never bonded with her and that maybe Becky shouldn't come around too much. That's fair but it hurts. Still, at least she didn't scream at Becky about it. Gotta feel for Kylie, she's scared and worried that she can't be a good mom and doesn't have all the maternal feelings that Becky does. Poor kid was way too young and had no example to follow. It'll be a struggle but I think with David's help she'll grow into it.

All this wine bar business seems contrived to put Eva and Nick together. After how badly her ex hurt her, I'm surprised she'd send business his way at all. Getting stuck in the warehouse was a bit silly, especially when that dog went mental, an empty van was parked outside the property ready to be loaded, and the guard didn't even think to check around very much. So Eva and Nick are now a couple, oddly enough they seem quite suited, both a bit shallow and self important. (Oh come on, Nick wants to be seen as a hot club owner when the club is literally in a hole in the wall in a back street nowhere near the jumping club scene in town).

Gail isn't especially pleased but she never is and Stella is worried he'll hurt Eva like he did Leanne. Someone needs to remind Stella that Nick and Leanne did an equally hurtful job on each other even if Nick did the initial persuing. And Nick and Eva getting busy in Gail's living room? That boy needs his own flat! It's ridiculous.
Someone else that seems a bit self important is Dr. Spare Part, Matt who thinks Tina is hot but is uncomfortable that she's "just" a barmaid and an upgrade to waitress in a wine bar would be somewhat more preferable. Tina doesn't agree and he can't understand why she doesn't have any ambitions. Even so, she did dress a bit oddly for a job interview at a restaurant. I think she's young enough to be allowed to drift for the moment, especially if she's got a job that she really likes. It all ends very damply when she tosses the traditional pint over his head in a childish strop. He really didn't deserve that but in the Rovers, that's what constitutes "yer dumped!". 

Aadi did well in a golf tournament. Has anyone reminded the Alahan's it's nearly December? Do they play golf year round in the UK? Sophie's grumpy and petulant about Sian being too busy at schoolwork to pay attention to her. Well that's what happens when you thrown your own academic life out the window. She perks up when Amber offers to go to the cinema but pouts again (and is jealous) when Amber dumps her for an old boyfriend, as you do at that age, so Sophie drops her in it by alerting Dev to the fact that his baby is probably shagging herself senseless. Oh very adult. Amber was very snotty about referring to Sophie as her dad's "shop girl" when she does the very same thing, work in the shop because she's chucked school. And Amber might have called Sophie for being "childish" but she did dump Sophie two days in a row and that's not fair. She really has turned into a little cow, hasn't she? 

Sally seems to be making herself indispensable to Frank and Fosterworld. Do we see that spark of a newly minted crush in her eyes? Frank advised her to talk things over with Sophie after explaining that making mistakes was the best way to learn. Yes, but getting married too young is a hell of a worse mistake than investing in a business that goes bust.

Sophie and Sian are rowing about the schoolwork and Sophie accidentally knocks a glass of water on the laptop without a backup in sight. Oh dear. She moans about having to start all her work over again, something that's going to be a bit tricky on a burned out laptop! anyway Sophie finally tells Amber she loves her (no, it's a crush but i suppose at 17 you don't know the difference all the time) and Amber didn't even figure that out. I'm surprised at that. Sunita figures it out pretty quickly and is all nice and Big Sistery to Sophie whose mother is too preoccupied with Frank and her chances of becoming the power behind the power in Fosterworld.
Sophie does what she did before, Amber gives her the push off and she urges Sian to run away and elope instead. Splain to me again why it's a good idea to get married at 17? I'm with Sal and Kevin on this one, they're way too young. Oddly enough, Sian seems more concerned about the Websters' reaction than that of her own parents, her father being dead set against the relationship all along. Of course Sally manages to persuade them not to elope and backs down, allowing a proper wedding on December 29 and Amber points out, quite rightly, that it's only been 24 hours since Sophie was protesting her love for Amber. Rebound anyone?

Kirsty seems intent on revising Tyrone's fibre intake and broke a perfume bottle of Tina's without saying anything and didn't offer to pay for it until Tyrone said he would. And wouldn't someone notice if a bottle of perfume was broke? That scent would linger for days! Tina is still wandering around in a towel. Not much changes. End result? Tina gets grief from a cop and a clamp on Rita's car in town. Tina promised to try to make more of an effort to get on with Kirsty but she went mad when she caught Tyrone giving Tina a hug. At least Tyrone gave her a scolding for assuming he and Tina had the hots for each other.

I see Lloyd didn't waste much time replacing the sofa that he burned (the one he's probably still making payments on). It doesn't look very comfy so he probably dragged out of a skip somewhere.  Stella managed to get back to the pub as a hen party entered, still working on her own. Why would she not have scheduled the party to some time when she had more staff? And lastly, who would have thought Kirk would get lucky with a gorgeous blonde bride who was having last minute cold feet?
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