Family Fortunes in Weatherfield

(This post was originally posted by Clinkers (David) on the Coronation Street Blog in September 2012.)

At this early stage, I'm quite happy to give the thumbs up to Glorious Gloria, the horribly-wigged mother of St Ella of the Back Room. You get the impression that Price Senior was some tie-dyed free spirit from the late 1960s and certainly seems less highly strung than her beige-clad daughter.

Introducing the previously unseen kinfolk of Street residents has proved to be a mixed affair down the years. For every Sylvia Goodwin there's an Amy Burton. Remember her? She arrived at the back-end of 1987, the hatted-harridan who was lucky enough to be Vera Duckworth's dear old mum. Except she wasn't a lovely old lady. Amy was a thieving, repellent banshee of a woman and thankfully her tenure was a brief one. Or how about Mike Baldwin's dad, Frankie, played by veteran actor Sam Kydd? Frankie was a one-man parody of the Eastend. I'm surprised they didn't have him playing spoons in a blitzed-out Bermondsey terrace.

Of course, back in the day, no one really had parents in Corrie. Did Len, Elsie, Emily or Bet ever mention a parent? How about Stan & Hilda? Mind you, the Oggies were so un-family friendly that they managed to forget about two of their own kids. Whatever happened to Sylvie and Tony Ogden? Are they still outside in't cludgy?

Some residents conveniently forget their nearest and dearest of course. Sally has barely mentioned her sister Gina in the past twenty five years. She was a bit annoying, I suppose. No wonder their mother looked so haggard. Likewise, Kevin and Bill obviously can't be bothered with their closest relative Debbie (pronounced De-beh), the weeble-like sister that time forgot.

I suppose that's nothing though compared to Bill having chosen not to remember his other son. Yes! Had you forgotten about him too? Cast your mind back around 400 years to when Bill got wed to rubbish hairdresser Elaine. She produced another little Webster around 1985 who was given the truly horrendous name of Carl. Where is the 27 year old Webster now? Isn't it time we met him again? I'm sure he could stir up a bit of trouble for Bill and Kev.

How about a mother for Marcus too? I'm picturing a very gay-friendly fifty-something mum - one of those 'all guns blazing' mothers who stride out in Gay Pride parades with a mortified (but secretly pleased) Marcus some way behind. Are there other long lost family members who need to be dragged onto t'cobbles? Surely Rita must have a living relative. How about a nan for Fiz and Chesney? Or let's have a lovely little storyline where Dev's parents arrive and take him away. Forever.

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